2009: The Best Year of My Life

At the time, it looked the contrary. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, we closed down our retail business, we let go of all our properties, and then some. I was struggling to be a good mom and wife and follower of Jesus. But really, there was something greater working in the midst of this chaos: God and his love for me.

Here is some backstory, as I reflect on the last ten years:

As a young, newly married couple, my husband and I had grand dreams for our future family and destiny. Living in Los Angeles, we were surrounded by “successful” people (so we thought); people who had created the “ultimate” lifestyle for themselves by investing in real estate, the financial markets, and businesses. Aside from having access to earthly luxuries, their financial independence provided freedom of time and money to do whatever they wanted with their families, something we so deeply desired for ourselves. These were the people we admired and were inspired by to pursue achieving our personal goals and dreams.

We set forth working diligently at attaining our wealth. We surrounded ourselves with the “right” people and we immersed ourselves and our resources into obtaining the knowledge and tools to help carve out our path. Over the course of the next few years, we bought properties, owned a stock portfolio, and started businesses. Along the way, our family grew, and overall, we were doing well … we were “on track”!

But there was something missing in our grand plan. And that was God.

At this point, we had already accepted Jesus as Savior of our lives but we did not have him as Lord of our lives. We continued to chase after worldly pursuits, constantly focusing on the next deal or venture, yet never putting the same amount of time and effort into growing in our relationship with Christ or building kingdom treasure. While we sought wisdom and counsel from like-minded individuals, we never sought wisdom and counsel from the Creator, to whom all belongs.

The reality is that we deserve nothing but death, and yet God graciously gave us hope in Christ to have a life more amazing and wonderful beyond this world. The truth and power of that Good News was overshadowed by our selfish pursuits, pride, and shallowness as we held the riches of this world on a pedestal.

Praise the God for his limitless love, fatherly discipline, and grace … and allowing us to go through a very humbling season in our lives. We were wasting away time and money being caught up in the things of this world, and it was affecting our family life, slowly breaking it down. Ironically, family was the very reason we pursued such goals in the first place. Ultimately, everything we had worked so hard for was lost.

But, much more was gained! God could have let us “be”; could have let us continue down a spiritually destructive path where we may have amassed earthly wealth but at the expense of our relationship with Jesus and with each other. Thankfully, God did not let us continue. Just as a father loves his children enough to discipline them, we were put to the rod. As a result, we not only realized the emptiness of our pursuits, but our great need for God.

Additionally, we realized God’s providence over our lives as we simultaneously lost the riches we were building up on this earth. Our family was covered by God’s grace and mercy, our eyes were opened to heavenly wisdom and truth, and peace that transcends understanding permeated our home despite what may have seemed like worldly failure.

I can’t believe a whole decade has already passed since then. Hands down, 2009 was the hardest and best year of my life to date. It was the year God saved me from myself. It was the year God gave me another chance to start anew with a more aligned walk with Jesus so I can pursue a different path of fruitfulness.

And oh, how much fruit has been borne since then!

So before we embark on another year and the beginning of a new decade on the calendar, I want to remember God’s love at work for me – his daughter. I want to remember his patience, his forgiveness, his grace, his mercy, and his provision. I want to thank him for gifting me with a season of intense pruning in preparation for growth. Because that pruning only renewed and strengthened relationship with my Creator, led me away from empty pursuits, and instead head towards a path he desired for me – one that focused on things that are important for eternity, not just this lifetime.

I would pay the year 2009 over, and over, and over again.

Psalm 103:1-2: Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.

James 1:2-4: Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Romans 11:33: Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!