Christian Unschooling and Teaching Kids a Strong Work Ethic
“But if you unschool, how are you going to teach your kids to have a strong work ethic? School is children’s work; it is where they have the most opportunity to practice diligence and perseverance in preparation for the real world.”
This is a mash-up of some of the concerns and comments I’ve encountered from other parents (including other homeschoolers) as our family moved towards more organic, self-directed learning.
A common misconception about an unschooling life is that kids will never learn to do things they just don’t want to do; that they will only grow muscles in not working hard or in giving up easily. There is a fear that allowing kids to freely pursue their interests without a traditional education only promotes selfishness and selfish ways.
Who Says Academics is the Only Way to Teach Kids a Strong Work Ethic?!
There are those who believe and argue that pushing children via academics trains them for their futures (since that is how they spend most of their waking hours); that kids need to learn that they won’t always get their way and just need to endure their school day and all that comes with it (as to prepare them for their future vocations, which won’t always have rainbows and butterflies).
That’s understandable. I, myself, often challenge my own children to complete certain academic tasks when I am discerning that is what they are needing at the moment. However, I personally don’t believe that a child’s academic education is the only or primary pathway for developing a strong work ethic.
Academics May Even Promote a Superficial Work Ethic
When young minds are forced to study subjects and muddle through assignments that hold no interest for them, all we do is foster a contempt for learning.
Children are being sacrificed on an altar of rigor and excellence when we chain ourselves to the idea that the only or primary way to teach them work ethic, diligence, and perseverance is through arduous school days and schoolwork.
The result is not thriving minds, but instead, stressed and overwhelmed youth, whose natural wonder and love for learning is being snuffed out. No longer is learning something to be valued and excited about, but something they just need to “get through”.
What may look like diligence and perseverance is really students simply surviving their school days, as they shallowly plow through assignments in order to “just be done”.
It’s a disheartening reality, and that is not what parents want for their kids!
A Gospel-Powered Foundation and Paradigm
So how can we teach the values of working conscientiously and persisting through challenges, apart from academics?
I personally believe this happens by primarily by discipling our kids in the gospel and how it informs how we should labor and live.
EVERYTHING we do – whether it is schoolwork, or chores, or being in relationships – is a privilege and not a right, when you really think about what we deserve apart from Jesus.
We have not only been saved FROM something (our sin, death, destruction, eternal torment), but FOR something (kingdom work, missional living). Therefore, we actually GET TO labor and live our story within The Bigger Story, to glorify the God who redeemed us and gives us a new, amazing identity.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Colossians 3:23
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17
Practical Ways to Teach Strong Work Ethic Apart from Academics
With a gospel foundation and paradigm, schoolwork doesn’t have to be the only or primary means for teaching children a strong work ethic.
ALL OF LIFE provides kids plenty of tangible opportunities to develop this value, as long as parents can recognize those opportunities and take the time to press into them.
It takes a lot of muscle and practice for kids (shoot, adults as well!) to:
- give grace
- exercise patience
- forgive (and ask for forgiveness)
- practice self-awareness
- repent of sins
- share with others prized possessions
- let others go first
- listen more than speak
- wholeheartedly minister to a friend
- obey right away
- do chores consistently and with excellence
- develop and establish good personal habits and hygiene
- steward finances and possessions
- manage time efficiently
- finish a task to completion
- and more
In fact, I would say that it takes an even stronger work ethic in kids to grow in these other areas, because they require a work of the heart and mind in applying the gospel … which is, quite frankly, a challenging endeavor. Also, they don’t necessarily get grades to mark their progress!
It Takes a Strong Work Ethic from Parents to Disciple Children
While a strong work ethic is cultivated through exercising muscles in ALL areas of our lives, it is first rooted in a heart of worship, borne from a personal and intimate embrace of the gospel.
Therefore, as Christian parents, it is imperative that we elevate the discipleship of our kids in the knowledge and power of the gospel, more than the school assignments we want them to complete.
The problem is that it takes intentionality, time, and energy … things many parents are not willing to give in this go-go culture. Discipleship is inconvenient, and especially more so when we aren’t being discipled ourselves.
I can see how it is much easier to farm youth out to government schools or even as homeschoolers, to use schoolwork as the gauge for our children’s work ethic. As long as they get their assignments completed and pass all their tests then we are doing great in this area!
But we need to fight against the temptation for ease and superficiality.
Additionally, at least for our family, discipleship opportunities usually present themselves in organic ways, not in structured frames. Putting feet on the gospel oftentimes means stopping what we are doing and pressing into moments in real time, whether they have to do with schoolwork or not.
Unschooling Supports Teaching Kids a Strong Work Ethic
This is actually why I believe an unschooling life is well-suited for developing gospel fluency, because there are no external pressures to conform to or be bound by. We have ultimate freedom of time and space to be able to lean into discipleship opportunities as they arise.
As well, when unschoolers are able to capitalize on their intrinsic motivation, they are able to work with a genuine heart for diligence and perseverance, because they are working to accomplish objectives their hearts are set on.
For instance, in order for my daughter to participate in the alternative learning program she loves being a part of, we have to report dedicated hours on certain subjects, like math, which she has been finding more difficulty with recently.
However, because of her desire to take all the other amazing classes that fill her tank at this alternative learning program, she diligently completes her math, and has motivation to persevere through the more difficult lessons she has been encountering.
She also has a dream to one day be a builder or engineer and knows that people in those trades need to be well-equipped in different mathematics concepts. Therefore, she continues to work hard without being pushed in her current lessons, understanding that certain objectives (like getting to take the classes she likes and maybe becoming a builder/engineer one day) often require doing “hard things” in order to accomplish them.
Work is a Gift and an Opportunity to Glorify God
Empowering our children to pursue their dreams simultaneously empowers them to value a strong work ethic and pursue excellence because they are working towards a personal vision and mission.
When you couple this with a gospel foundation, Christian unschoolers are fully unleashed to work as God calls them to. They are able to comprehend and value the importance of working hard, with diligence and perseverance, knowing that they have been given the gift of getting to partake in The Bigger Story.
And it won’t just be for their personal earthly success or accolades, but ultimately for the glory of God.